


Can't Help Falling

by itstoobloodyhot



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 12:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13167402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itstoobloodyhot/pseuds/itstoobloodyhot
Summary: Brendon is no angel, and that's hardly ever been a secret. That's why, when he finds a pair of white wings growing right between his shoulder blades, he isn't exactly comfortable with it, especially since Ryan clearly is getting very horny - quite literally.But they're still a band, in the public eye, so there's only one thing Brendon can turn to.His diary.





	Can't Help Falling

3/28/2007

 

What the fuck is happening?

 

I didn’t want to write this out until I was sure it’s what I thought it was, and the thing is…

 

I’ve got wings. Two huge white wings sticking out of my back. And I keep getting mail from someone who thinks it’s not a good idea to sign or leave a return address.

 

I feel worse for Ryan though. He’s got two great big horns sticking out of his forehead. I asked him if he’s got a tail, but he just punched me in the arm and wandered off. 

 

And that’s not even the worst thing. I can’t even get high anymore. And my bones break so fucking easily because they’re getting hollow, like a bird.

 

Although, Ryan keeps having to put out the fires that light on him. He probably has it worse.

 

I’m just glad Jon and Spencer haven’t noticed yet. Although… there’s a lot of things they haven’t noticed yet. A few nights ago we almost didn’t make it to his room and I swear they walked right past us.

 

I’ve never been gladder than to be in this cabin. God, what would the fans think if they saw us going around looking like this?

 

They’d probably just think Ryan found some prosthetics.

 

That’s another thing that doesn’t make sense to me. I’m supposed to be the sinner.Everyone knows that Ryan is the good one, even if he doesn’t take any shit. In what world could he possibly be a demon?

 

Okay, that’s it for now.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

4/23/2007

 

Found this down the back of the couch after getting drunk. A little side note for that – I can only get drunk on rosewater now, for some reason. I throw up any actual alcohol that I drink five minutes after. 

 

Basically, I’m fucking miserable. 

 

I’ve broken my legs at least three times in the past week, both from the hollow bones and the trying to learn to fly thing. At least this whole angel thing comes with rapid healing. 

 

Oh, and I’ve been trying to teach Ryan how to be more demonic. He’s just too nice to be one of the bad guys. It should’ve been me.

 

Anyway, Spencer’s definitely noticed. I think it might’ve been the feathers he found in his coffee. Or the fact that Ryan keeps walking into doors and leaving marks. Or the mysterious voice that speaks from the sky. Apparently sending unmarked mail wasn’t enough. 

 

Speaking of mail, ~~he~~ ~~He~~ the mysterious voice in the sky sent me a halo. It glows bright white and tries to stick to my head. I’m half-expecting a harp to appear one day.

 

And, just because he’s never going to see this… 

 

I think I’m falling fully in love with Ryan.

 

Oh, fuck. Now it’s written there, it’s real.

 

I’m gonna rip this page out.

 

And by the way, he does have a tail, but he can keep it in his pants. I keep having to wear big coats to hide my wings.

 

Alright, that’s enough for today.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

4/30/2007

 

The halo makes a great frisbee. The only problem is that Ryan has to be the one throwing and I have to catch it, but it’s magnetised to my head. 

 

That’s all I can say right now.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

5/2/2007

 

Does this mean that my parents were right?

 

About the whole ‘God’ thing?

 

Oh shit, maybe that’s why I’m an angel.

 

Jon took his time, but he noticed. If I remember correctly, he took my halo, held it above Spencer’s head, and then didn’t notice himself zooming back to me. 

 

So that was an experience.

 

Oh, and a guy all dressed in red and black turned up at our front door, smelling of smoke, and invited himself in, talking to Ryan and then to me, trying to get me to admit bad shit I’d done. And, fuck, there was a lot. And then he tried to make deals with Jon and Spencer. I think I can guess who he was.

 

I still haven’t told Ryan everything. 

 

And I’m not going to. I mean, he’s a demon and I’m an angel, it’d never really work.

 

Although, our new body parts have made sex very interesting.

 

Right.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

5/10/2007

 

He won’t let me see his lyrics.

 

I have a feeling that means he’s gonna scrap them soon. After a couple months.

 

I mean, we all know how they go, musically, cos we have to play them, but so far I’m just going ‘la la la’ in place of words, which is… interesting.

 

We’re all starting to get cabin fever. It’d be better, I think, if two of us weren’t kinda divine beings. I think I've accepted that part for now. Is this what being a superhero feels like?

 

What are we gonna do when we leave???

 

Bye.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

6/17/2007

 

I wrote a song. I'm not sure if I really like it yet.

 

‘I Have Friends In Holy Spaces’

 

Fuck me.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

6/18/2007

 

We’ve made a promise to get rid of all this. It’s too much. We can’t have it.

 

He’s going to be nice, and I’m going to be bad.

 

Just like normal, I guess.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

7/18/2007

 

It’s working. It’s fucking working, somehow.

 

Maybe we had to just not want it?

 

I don’t know, I don’t care, I’m too happy.

 

My wings can be hidden by a hoodie now, and my halo disappeared completely within a couple of days.

 

His tail’s gone.

 

The only thing is, his horns haven’t changed. They’re exactly the same, in the middle of his head.

 

I can tell he hates them being there.

 

What’s he going to do?

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

8/23/2007 

 

He’s an idiot. Holy shit. Why am I writing this instead of helping? Fuckfuckfuck.

 

I’ll write more when my hands have stopped shaking.

 

 

Okay. Okay. Everything’s okay.

 

Shit.

 

For whatever reason, I woke up at 3 am, and went to the bathroom, only to see Ryan lying there, head resting against the bath, green blood (I don’t know how I knew it was blood, I just… knew) dripping from his forehead and the horns were… gone. I looked a little to his left and there they were, green blood dripping off the ends. Ryan pointed behind me, dazed smile on his face. I guess my (smaller, again) wings were bristling or something.

 

I crouched beside him and pushed back his hair, getting the tissues (stained with green, of course) that were scattered around him and dried the blood he’d missed. His hair was getting matted with it.

 

“Your birthday party’s in a couple days,” I said, shaking and trying not to hurt him, “You’ve gotta go and be seen with people, they’re gonna see the scars.”

 

His unfocused eyes trailed over my face. “Why did you think I cut them off?” He lifted up a fabric headband that I hadn’t seen before and pulls my hands away, putting it on under his hair. “See? All better.”

 

He flies to New York tonight. Tonight, tonight. I might stay here, I might not. I’ll keep you updated.

 

I feel like this is going to be very funny for the me reading this in the future.

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

8/30/2007

 

It’s his birthday. I wonder what he’s up to. Probably having fun with

 

He just texted me.

 

What is he doing? I can’t go out with these wings, can I? Maybe… I can hide them under a hoodie. Everything’s going to be fine.

 

Oh yeah, and my bones feel like they’re solidifying again. They don’t break as easily anymore. Which is good. No more flying, though.

 

Not that I’d be able to do it with these wings, right?

 

I’ve gotta go fly to Seattle. In a plane. 

 

Brendon

 

* * *

 

 

9/1/2007

 

He called me his Icarus. And he kissed me. And he told me everything was going to be fine.

 

He showed me all of his songs. They’re beautiful.

 

He kept some of the titles.

 

And the wings have completely gone. Flattened onto my back, and now it looks like I’ve got a huge back tattoo of wings.

 

It might just be wishful thinking, but I feel like everything’s going to be just fine.

 

Brendon.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

1/1/2015

 

I don’t remember any of this. 

 

Well, there are bits and pieces. Ryan’s birthday party, and flying to Seattle, and the cabin in the woods, but I never had wings or a halo, and he never had a tail, or horns, or fires that lit on him.

 

I found this in an old checked red shirt, bound with a fabric headband with green stains on the inside. The back of my mind tells me a recognise them, but… I don’t know.

 

I don’t even know why I’m writing in this old thing. I guess it’s for a future me that might remember this. Isn’t that all a diary really is?

 

Shit, that got poetic.

 

I guess I might use some of this for the new album though.

 

Whatever.

 

Brendon.


End file.
